Gremlins- More Like Mogawai.

Looks can be deceiving

Gremlins- not to be exposed to bright lights, don't get it wet, and don't play it at skittles after midnight.

You wouldn't want to shine a light on this Gremlins skittles team , they're already wet, and we're not worried what time we play them. OK in the film it was don't feed after midnight, but this lot have already eaten all the pies .

Before I get onto the match, a brief update about the last "missing" year.

The Beers changed venue, moving from the Waggon to the Bermuda Triangle club.

The Bermuda Triangle has mistakenly been thought to exist in the Atlantic Ocean, near the West Indies. In fact it is a social club in the centre of Scrumpy Town, "where people disappear, don't go to near!"

Well turns out its true, and we lost M3 and Florence Nightingale. Rumour has it they have surfaced in Dorset, nice county if you like lager, probably with a dash of lime. That's not really fair, they like to think they make cider, but the best ones still have to be imported from Scrumpyshire. But as a neighbouring county, its not bad for the weekend.

Onto the match. The opener of a new season, against a previously successful team that have won the league on numerous occasions, well at least twice, I think.

We start with a new old player, that is he did play for the Beers a few year ago. We welcome back the Organ Grinder , and partner him with Nelson. This should be a strong start, and despite an iffy first down of 5 and 4, both players exceed expectations, both hitting a spare, and ending with 47 a piece. We lead by 30, ssh.

We only got the organ grinder, but I'm hoping the monkey can play darts.
Next up is Guinevere and the Weld. Good play by both players, Guin hitting a spare on the last to score an excellent 46, ("she's a pot hunter"), the Weld 37, and we pull another 2 pins. Ssh.

Although having played for a year with the Beers, it was the missing year, so Tommy Lee Jones is new to the blog. He's partnered with the unpredictable Airbus. Tommy starts with a 3, but picks it up to finish with 39. Airbus takes off, but soon crashes, and with 27 going in to the last we have the chance of losing double figures. But we have confidence in the wings and he gets a 15 spare on the last go to finish with 42. We only drop 5 and are still 27 up.

Lancelot is up next with the model 8, who in the last year has moved onto the Anglia. Both start with 8's, and continue strongly, Lance getting a spare to score 54, taking the pot away from his good lady Guinevere, something that happens at home a lot I understand. Anglia gets a reliable 42, and the pair pull 20 pins. No need to ssh!, its all gone very quiet from the Gremlins end.

Reliable?

I'm on with Toyah(in my dreams) next. We both play well, I score 48 and Toyah 42, we pull another 7 pins. Tonights choice of tipple is Doom Bar.

“The aroma of Doom Bar combines an accomplished balance of spicy resinous hop, inviting sweet malt and delicate roasted notes. The mouth feel is a perfectly balanced and complex blend of succulent dried fruit, lightly roasted malty notes and a subtle yet assertive bitterness. The bitterness remains into the finish with dry fruity notes which implore the drinker to go back for more.” Yes, drunk again.

We're up to the last set, 54 pins up and only having dropped 2 points.Game in the bag, but still 2 points for Chippy and the Wizard to play for.

Suggested safety equipment for Gremlins

Most of the Gremlins have left the building at this stage, with defeat staring them in the face, they have deserted the ship more like rats than Gremlins. Chippy starts well with a 9 and an 8. The same cannot be said for the Wizard who starts with two 4's. Having spent a lot of the evening baiting the Gremlins the Wizard now has their full attention.

"Talks a good f ' game, but can't play for sh'!" Censored. Yes they've found their voice, and are beginning to see 2 points to be gained from the last set.

Chippy increases his game with a spare, but sadly its a 9 spare, and the Gremlins now take out some heavy heckling to put off the Wizard, who after two 4's appears to be succumbing. This is probably the wrong way to put off the Wizard, and after a good dose of his own medicine he's rejuvenated back to the normal venom and hits an 18 spare. The Gremlins are now treated to some apt gestures from the Wiz- I've no sympathy, play with fire etc, they have brought the next 15 minutes on themselves, and as predicted Chippy and Wiz open up with more 8's and 9's. The wiz with hand to ear and " all gone quiet over there!" etc. For the rest of the game there really is nowhere to hide for the remaining Gremlins. Chippy 50, Wizard 48.

New look for Gremlins next year.

We finish with a huge 542 pins scored, and 20 points, dropping just 2 points.
The Gremlins finish- very quietly!Maybe next time we should play them after midnight to give them a chance.

This is closer to the ones we played.