Darts-Congs league singles @ Warrens.

Inside Warrens Holiday Village- game on!

The Sexy Bristols are back at Warrens Holiday Village for the Congresbury darts league singles competition. Sadly not all the team can make this night. On duty we have M3/452, Model A-who has evolved into the Model Y, a much cheaper cider drinker, Gnasher, Idris,Katy and myself. Failures to turn up, Mickey Murphy- some baking to be done, and Tattoo-missing in action.

Katy, Model Y and myself have decided tonights darts aperitif will be Thatchers Gold- according to Thatchers" a crisp refreshing cider with a smooth "appely" taste and a bright sparkle", and at 4.8% vol it certainly was. Now that is sexy
Our darts however were a long way short of sexy. M3/452 , Model Y, Gnasher, Idris and myself all failing in the first round, only Katy surviving, and in so doing beating the legendary Slow Hand. Slow Hand is one of the hardest players in the league to beat, and has won the competiton in the past. He is so named as each throw can take a life time. I am certain that at the begining of each throw he stops time. By the second dart tumble weeds pass by the oche, and should you make it to the third dart, you generally have to sit down as your bones start to crumble into dust. Still, lucky for Katy, slow hand's counting got the better of him and he went for the wrong double, Katy through to next round.

Katy's next opponent put a shadow over us, and I do mean a shadow. For upstepped Tiny, who is about the same size as the side of a house. With each step a small tsunami was sent down the Bristol Channel. Katy did take one leg, but then with a huff and a puff Tiny blew our house down, and went on to the board final.

Tiny succeded on the night beating other opponents to make it through to finals night. One of the players he beat appeared to be Pete Waterman. He of great music hits such as Kylie's " I Should be so Lucky". ( I was going to use this opportunity to put in a photo of Kylie, but Mrs G's frown has said enough).

It wasn't in fact Pete Waterman, but the father of Bristol TV darts player The Flash.
Some will say that the city of Bristol got its name from the old english word "Brycgstow" meaning place by the river. However when looking at Bristol from Scrumpy town the source is clear to see. It is in fact the city that nestles between the Bristols.

How Bristol got its name Idris and Tattoo share a moment.

Blockbusters Need a P Bob.

The Blockbusters might have more luck with this anchorman.
Skittles this week was a rematch with The Blockbusters. Unfortunately I couldn't make this game, but I wish I had. There are one or two players in this team that think they're Fido's nuts, and were sure to be out for revenge after our winning draw(13-9), against them earlier in the season.
We opened up with Guinevere and The Weld. Guin hit an ok 32, The Weld suffering with some aches and pains managed 27, and we are down some pins and 2 points.
Mrs G now puts herself on with newly evolved Model-A, he should be better than the T, although there are fears he could be too expensive to run(Magners cider).
G gets 37 and A- 38. We are now in front and 2 sets all.
Its time for The Whistler and Airbus. Whistlers in tune tonight and gets 36. Airbus's insistence on fly-by-wire skittles has come undone. You wouldn't see the Wright brothers scoring 21, maybe Orville might have got a duck. We go down another 2 points and pins.
Up steps Lancelot and M3/452. Some good skittling and Lance has 38, M3 has 40. We level the points and go pins up.
Toyah and Nelson take to the stage. This games no mystery for Toyah and he hits a 42, Nelson trying one across the bows with 38, but its not enough, and we go down 2 points losing the set by 1 pin. But we are still up in pins.
The Blockbusters have a normally strong anchor pairing of Captain Peacock and Mr Humphries. Our lads were going to be up against it.
Captain Peacock's quality pair.
Some good news for our anchor pairing of Chippy Minton and the Wizard. Apparently menswear are having an audit and Mr Humphries is not free.
Mr Humphries "I'm not free"
Chippy ignores the chisel going straight for the mallet with our first spare of the night. The Wizard choosing not to use spells in favour of solid 8's and 9's. The Captain and his partner try to hold on to our shirt tales(different story) but all in vain as Chippy finishes with 49 and the Kitty, the Wiz with 2nd highest 44.
We win 16-6.
"E for exit from skittle alley please Bob".
Stop Press- We have a cup match against the Blockbusters 19th March.

Dartus Weekus Horribillis

A week of darts failure, could hurt if I wasn't so used to it.

Monday night is Scrumpy town darts league. Due to work I am unable to make all these matches, but when I can I play for the Drum and Monkey. M3/452 also plays for both the Drum and the Sexy Bristols.Thatchers Scrumpy for sale here, M3/452 has had too much.
Sadly tonights match is not here.
We are playing the Bristol who have quite a strong team this year. The Bristol is the centre piece pub in Scrumpy town, and, as such is ok.
The Bristol-mostly yuppie ciders,occasional scrumpy.
I'll be drinking Guinness tonight, although they do have a collection of Yuppie ciders.
I'm afraid we turned up, tried, but came second, losing 7-2. The only success comming from The King-Elvis, who saved the 1st leg, and Bubbles Devere, who was our best player of the night, despite the heckles, "Call me bubbles darling".
Can't remember who beat M3, but I lost to a Leprechaun, and didn't even get the gold.
Thursday saw the Sexy Bristols playing at the Waggon and Horses to stay in the Congs Premier league.They sell Addlestones Scrumpy here- go and get some,now.
It has to be said the Waggon has neither a waggon, nor a horse, and sometimes not alot to drink, however it does have Scrumpy, in the name of Addlestones. I have to confess I've not been a big drinker of the Addlestones, but that might have to change, as tonights is sheer quality, unlike the darts thrown by the Sexy Bristols. If we played like our lives depended on it, then we can forget the walk to the oche and go straight to the crematorium, for it was to be a 9-0 stuffing. Nothing much to say about individuals, other than Model-T who did win the captains cup game after the match, beating the Bishop.
On a personal note I had a good thrashing from Spanky, something I'm not proud of, and probably won't tell Mrs G.
Sadly the result does mean the Sexy Bristols will be relegated with 2 games to play.